Ride or Die: Chosen Family among LGBTQ+ People

People from all backgrounds form chosen families, meaning a group that is not related by biological or legal ties, but rather through intentional choice and desired community. Chosen family in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) communities is prominent because of societal and familial discrimination. Yet our theoretical and empirical knowledge of LGBTQ+ chosen families is now seriously out of date, and many new questions have emerged. This study, based on 57 interviews with LGBTQ+ people, argues queer people are impacted by the historical legacy of LGBTQ+ chosen family but are radically reimagining it in a new cultural, social, and political climate. The first chapter explores the motivations for why participants formed chosen families. While rejection from family of origin continues to be a driving force, it manifests differently than in the past. The broader history of rejection provided a cultural roadmap for chosen families. It taught them in which direction to head, how to form supportive networks and embrace queer culture. Chapter two discusses the rewards and challenges of chosen families. While the challenges were generally stereotypical family dynamics, the solutions to these problems and the rewards of chosen family were queer and unique. Chosen families provided queer communal care, namely mental and physical healthcare support, mutual aid, and shared joy for LGBTQ+ people. Chapter three examines how LGBTQ+ chosen families are both impacted by political change and also contribute to political transformations. Interviewees found those with shared political values, queered marriage, and connected the personal and political in their family choices and practices. In solidarity, they built up their political power through caretaking and supporting one another in social justice efforts. With a focus on motivations, lived experiences, and political outcomes, the accounts in these pages tell a collective story of resilience.